So this morning I went to Boulder for a workout with the Boulder Track Club. Phew, it was a doozy. 2k tempo, which was manageable, followed by 6x60sec 6x30sec and 6x15sec hills. My legs were on fire! Ha! I was having flashbacks to college, when we did hills and I would be screaming obscenities at my coach, only in my head of course. And I would give him the f*you stink eye on many occasion. Well, that was how I felt today. I tried to refrain from evil eyeing my coach, but it was a hard urge to resist. Thank goodness I had teammates to suffer with me. It is worth all the early mornings and hours driving to spend just a short while with the people of the BTC. It gets pretty lonely sometimes, all the training. And seeing the faces of the wonderful people who I train with fuels my fire for days. I am not alone after all! Hallelujah! Thank you Lee for providing the invaluable gift of camaraderie by establishing such a unique, fantastic club. And of course, thanks to all the BTC peeps who are just rockin! Coolest people in Boulder by far, let me tell you.
I have been feeling a little overwhelmed recently, honestly when am I not feeling overwhelmed? I guess when I'm not really training... But anyways, I am sitting on the front end of another tough training block and am already exhausted two days in. It is to be expected, but still uncomfortable and takes adjusting to. And in these times it is easy to get frustrated and negative, which I am. So much f*ing running, stretching, lifting, sleeping. So much hard work, and much of it done solo. I'm really not surprised to be facing my own negativity at this point. I have been running for my coach for 9 months now and he claimed, back when I joined the club, that there would be times when I would want to give up, but if I stuck through the though times I would come out stronger and better on the other side. Whether I am facing one of the though times he mentioned, or if it is simply the time of year (spring training has always been the hardest for me) I find myself having to dig a little deeper a positive attitude.
I am pretty sure my family thinks I am crazy. I think they have been hiding it for a while but it is starting to seep through. My mom gives me these concerned looks, like why are you doing this to yourself? Dad can't believe I am heading back onto the track. And Jake has to endure my endless exclamations of exhaustion, just to watch me go out for yet another run. Lol, really it makes me smile. At least Jake understands my situation. Mom and dad, bless their hearts, would rather I settle, though they don't know that is what their fruitless suggestions for my running career mean to me. It isn't that they aren't supportive, but like I said, they think I am crazy. I can hardly blame them, they endured my struggles all through college and now I am, of my own free will, choosing to continue down an even more challenging road. But this is so different. This is fun. This is life, the pursuit of dreams. It is not the destination, but the journey that matters. Am I right?
In light of what it may seem, I am still loving it! All of it. And don't let me try to convince you otherwise. Yes I am tired, and a little lonely, and trying to just chill-ax. I am also pumped for track and am enjoying toying around with new paleo recipes, which may or may not include bacon amongst many other yummy things. Really it is life as usual. With all the shits and giggles. I just think too much, as you have probably gathered from these rando rants. Well, time for me to close shop... literally close the store. Over and out!
e.
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