Awakening

Holy crow! I have just endured the longest 3 days of my entire life. For real. I’m really quite astonished to find it is still March, because I thought for sure it would be at least April, if not May by now. I can’t say I have ever endured such extensive suffering, at least that I didn’t inflict upon myself. And by saying that I mean, running can be quite the suffer fest, but this was involuntary. You’re probably wondering what dramatic event could cause such destruction on my daily life. Let me waste no time in informing you that it was nothing more or less than the common flu. And oh my god people, it nearly killed me. You know when you forget what “good” feels like because you have felt just shit for so long, like three whole days? Well that was me. And when I woke up this morning, and felt like I had regained half of my normal functionality, it was just about the best feeling in the world. Not only was I feeling better, but it was a beautiful sunny spring day. And all that amazingness jumbled together and gave me a renewed since of awakening.

Spring is all about awakening. Trees, animals, bugs, people, all waking up after a winter of hibernation. The big ugly question is if you are going to like the person you awake to, if you know what I mean. Not the person you wake up next to, though for some that could be just as valid of a concern, but the person (mind, body, and spirit) you have become over those long, cold winter months. Some people stumble out of their winter stupor only to realize they have let themselves fall into a routine that can only be described as a sub-conscious comatized state. They are fat, slow, and oh did I mention slow? Ok, that is totally cruel and uncalled for. But let’s be honest with ourselves, there is a reason the phrase “fair weather runners” was coined. Well, if there is such a thing as fair weather runners, then my friends and I would be the opposite. Give me the shittiest, coldest, snowiest, windiest day and I will go run on a treadmill. Just kidding, I will go running outside. And when I see that running in a blizzard on an icy path in the total darkness with nothing but my feeble little headlamp to guide me does not fall into the category of self-preservation, I will say f$&%! And keep running anyways. Or maybe get on a treadmill. Regardless, this winter has given me a whole new perspective on commitment. And I am just now realizing how beautiful the results of that commitment will be.

As we move into the spring season, I am already in good shape and now just need a little speed tuning. Once summer rolls around, I’m going to be in tip top condition! Way ahead of the game baby! Gotta love it! Only thing I’m gonna be missing is a nice tan, and that will come in due course. All those miserable runs in the dark and cold, slowly tearing away at my moral. First November, then December, then January, then February, just dragging on and on and on. By the time March rolls around I am thinking to myself, please, just let it end. And it doesn’t; not in one day, or two, but all of a sudden, it is light for more than 7 hours a day. All of a sudden the sun is shining and it is already 55 at 9am. All of a sudden it seems silly to go to bed at 9pm, when the sun only went down 1 hour ago. All of a sudden it is spring. And while spring is accompanied by its fair share of in climate weather, (wind in Colorado for instance) it the beginning of the end. And that sigh of relief is no wear near enough to express the relieved emotions I am feeling. May is in sight. And I really did it. I trained harder than I have trained in my entire life through the worst part of the year.

So today I had that awakening, and the person I see when I look in the mirror is one who hasn’t slacked, or cut corners, or made excuses. I think my little flu experience only intensified the awakening. I spent the last 3 days in varying states of misery that masked any recollection of what I normally feel like. Side story: one time our dog got an eye infection and since dogs don’t really have a sense of past and future, we joked that to her, that poor sad state that she was in was just the reality of how life was going to be for her from now on. She had no way of knowing that eventually it would end and she would be fully functional once more. Well that was sort of how I felt. I lost sight of the realization that my sickness would eventually end and I would be back to my usual self. Which sounds crazy, since I have only been sick for 3 day, but do you see what I mean when I say they were the longest 3 days of my life? Anyways, I was on my run, which ironically was pretty pathetic, but it was the best worst run of my life. I ran on the trail in the open space that I haven’t set foot on in months. The sun was warm, so I ran without a shirt for the first time in months. There was a light breeze to keep me just the right temperature. My hair almost all went back into a ponytail without needing any pins. Literally my heart was singing, and I was slugging through 10 minute miles. I’m still smiling just thinking about it. What an amazing gift! I vow to never take running for granted again. Ha, yeah right. But today I did feel very blessed to be able to put on my shoes and get out the door. It is always nice to have days like that because it certainly isn’t every day. But gosh, those days make all the other less fun day all worth it.

So the moral of the story is that when I finally do train for a marathon, someone please remind me to think long and hard about what season I am going to be training through. Cudos to all those people training for Boston. You’re all tough as nails! And to everyone else, I hope you like the person you awake to this spring. And wake up next to. You get the idea.

e.