9 days to go...
Tonight I finally found out that my entry was accepted into the Stanford Invitational. Everyone told me I would be fine getting in, but I was still sitting on pins and needles. It feels really good to know that I at least have a place on the start line now. I guess I should mention that I am going to be running the 10k. It has been a while since I raced a 10k, and even longer since I ran a good 10k. That being said, I feel a big PR is in store. I am really excited for this opportunity and I want to make the most of it! My goal is to run under 33:20, which would qualify me for USATF Outdoor Nationals. On the record, that would be a 1min 40sec PR for me, off the record, I have run 33:47 on the roads, and went through the 10k in Florida in 34:30 (still with 5k to go). So I am just going to say, baring any extreme circumstances, I will be running a PR in California. How big a PR is the question.
I have found that in the past, my mental preparation for races has been less than ideal and has hence caused me to finish with less than ideal results. Well, I am going to be making a big effort over the next 10 days to do everything in my power to make sure I am as prepared for this race as I can be. And I am going to document all of it in this blog post. Some of it may seem really strange, but I am willing to try just about anything. And they say the definition of insanity is doing the same things but expecting different results. That means I need to try some new things I may have never done before. Honestly, unless you over-think your race, I don't think any amount of positive motivation and self talk will ever be too much.
Song: The Edge of Glory, Lady Gaga
"I'm on the edge of glory, and I'm hanging on a moment of truth."
March 21, 2013
8 days to go...
I came up with some interesting ideas to help me be confident going into my 10k this morning on my run. These are the things I am going to do today: make a chart of my race splits for 80's and 79's, buy some beads and string, decide on a catch phrase, find a calming breathing exercise, and make a list of my negative thoughts and then stronger positive thoughts. That probably seems like a lot, and it isn't including the physical preparation. Today is a Thursday, and I am making it my goal to stretch/roll for at least 1 hour every day (that is 9 hours total prior to the race) until my race. I am going to drink plenty of water, mixed with electrolyte drink. Obviously, I am going to run. Anyways, I suppose I better actually get going on all this stuff and not just chatting about it.
***
I had a bit of a realization while I was working on some of my mental preparation. I was making a list of negative thoughts I have and then writing down the positive counter, when I remembered a rather disturbing thought I told my mom a few weeks ago. I said, "I think I'm just as afraid of success as I am of failure." Woah! That is not good. And I know it is true. So I let my pen run wild for a bit, literally I wrote down my immediate reaction upon admitting that "I am afraid of success and it is easier to settle." Well, it resulted in a rather passionate statement from me, to me about myself. Don't be too confused. And don't judge. We all process things differently, and I am internal processor. Anyways, you can see what I unearthed. I apologize for the sloppy handwriting.
I also made my pace charts, bought beads (those I will explain later), found a calming breathing exercise, and decided on my catch phrase, or key words for this race: "I can." I already told you how I made a list of negative and positive thoughts. So really I accomplished everything I wanted to for today! Wow, you certainly can't ask for more than that. It was really helpful to write down and, in doing so, clearly identify the negative thoughts that are typically roaming around in my head. And then it felt really good to come up with some positive responses that I can use to build my confidence. I like that process a lot better than trying to just not have negative thoughts, because honestly, who can stop themselves from having negative thoughts? You would have to be a super human or something. But now if I get extra nervous or negative, I can look at my little paper and help myself rationalize things a bit. Will all these things fix all my problems? Heck no, but they are at least a start and I feel more race ready than I did this morning. So that is something.
Song: My Time, Fabolous (ft. Jeremih)
"Go hard, today. Can't worry bout the past cause that was yesterday. I'm gonna put it on tonight cause it's my time."
March 22, 2013
7 days to go...
Had a solid workout in Boulder this morning, which really made me feel good about the race. I did a 3k at 10k pace and ended up running 10:00 flat! Now, it was paced for me, which was fantastic because I didn't have to think at all. I was able to practice my positive thinking. My time ended up being 5 seconds faster than what I ran my 3k in last weekend, and that was a race. Granted I was coming off a terrible bout of flu, but it felt a lot easier today. Then I did 6x400. I am so glad these were part of the workout. Mostly because when I finished the 3k I thought to myself, oh no, I can't do 400's. And then Lee was thinking about what pace I should run and all I could think was "78's, 78's, please be 78's." But alas, Lee said, "I want you to run 76's." Oh my, 76's are hard without doing a 3k before them. But I just thought, "ok, you can do this; just take it one at a time." And what do you know, I actually felt decent and ran 4x75, 74, 73. It was hard, but proved that I am in good condition to run a great 10k! It was a great little lesson right before a big race. Running is hard, racing is hard, but I can do it. I feel more prepared for what to expect in the race now, and how to make sure I respond well. I need to attack those little moments of doubt, because if I get through those little moments, I don't think the in between will be as bad.
On a totally different note, Lee noted how I start to twist when I get tired. Well duh! I have been waiting for someone to address that for like ever! I hate it. Anyways, he said I really need to think about over exaggerating my arm swing and keep them going front to back, not side to side. I am going to practice in front of a mirror every day. I know it sounds stupid, but I want to be more efficient. I tried to do it during the workout, it was hard. But I think with practice it won't be as hard and will actually give me something to focus on during a race other than the pain. I just need to remember it while racing.
Song: Titanium, David Guetta (ft. Sia)
"I'm bulletproof, nothing to lose. Fire away, fire away."
"Stone hard, machine gun, fired at the ones who run. Stone hard, as bulletproof glass."
"You shoot me down, but I won't fall. I am titanium. You shoot me down, but I won't fall. I am titanium."
March 23, 2013
6 days to go...
Woke up to about 5 inches of snow and counting this morning. Plus the wind was whipping it around in little snorados (see what I just did there!). Anyways, normally I don't condone putting off one's run, especially when the person knows they will have to run after a full day at work. But today was an exception. I was very thankful I waited and did my run after work, when it was still cold but wasn't snowing or windy. And the bike path was totally clear! Speaking of work, I did a lot of productive things at work today, about half of them actually related to work. The other half were running related of course. I spent a fair amount of time learning my mile race splits. I want to know them backwards and forwards. That way when racing greatly decreases my logical brain function, I will hopefully be able to remember 6 numbers: 5:20, 10:40, 16:00, 21:20, 26:40, 32:00. Those splits are based off of 80 second laps and result in a 33:20 10k. So based off of what my actual splits are, I should have a general idea of how things are going. You want to know something ironic? When I was in college, those (80's) were the splits I was trying so hard to run for 5k. And I never did it. Now I am planning out races twice the distance at that pace and hardly batting an eyelash. It is more amusing to me now than anything, and sort of frustrating that I was so slow in college. But that time is over. I am moving on to bigger and much better things.
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| My bead string and my "Miles to go" tattoo. |
On my run this evening I tried to run with my arms swinging front to back and with less twisting. I do run a bit faster without any more effort, however it also feels like my shoulders are VERY tight when I do it. I am thinking though that it will be similar to learning to run on the balls of my feet. My calves were so tight for a while but eventually my body adjusted. I am hoping my arms will be the same way, awkward and uncomfortable at first, but after a while it becomes more natural.
Song: Remember the Name, Fort Minor (ft. Styles of Beyond)
"This is ten percent luck, twenty percent skill, fifteen percent concentrated power of will. Five percent pleasure, fifty percent pain, and a hundred percent reason to remember the name!"
March 24, 2013
5 days to go...
I've started to feel a bit burnt out on all the running thinking. Therefore I decided to back off a bit today. I did my 90min long run and then took Jake to see Les Miserables. That was a long one! Definitely not one I am planning on purchasing, but a good one time see. Then we went and bought a new bike seat for my bike. And later we are having the much anticipated spaghetti dinner I requested for my birthday. I love spaghetti and it is one of the things I miss being paleo. I have been looking forward to cooking/eating this dinner since about a week after we got back from New Zealand! And the cooking of the spaghetti is the most important part, because I like to eat the noodles as they are cooking. Anyways, it is going to be fantastic. Just Jake, Dad, and I. I have also made some paleo brownies for dessert! So yes, I am basically spending this day watching movies and eating spaghetti. Like I said before, I am taking a step back from all the race prep today because it was getting sort of exhausting. And the last thing I want is to be burnt out on the race before I even leave Colorado. That isn't going to happen, but you get the idea.
The song I picked for today isn't necessarily a pump up song like the others have been, therefore I feel it merits an explanation. During my last cross country season as a ram, I did a lot of video recording and put together a race recap film from every race we went to. I also did a few extra sentimental films to result in a 2 hours worth of short movies documenting the season. It was a ton of work and is the most valuable thing I took away from CSU, besides my own memories. The song I chose for today always makes me think of that movie and all the wonderful memories associated with it. Now not everything the movie recounts was flowers and smiles, we certainly had our fair share of disappointment during that last season. This song motivates me to be better than I was, because living with that regret isn't fun. I don't want to have any regrets from my race on Friday. I want to give it all I have and know there was nothing left at the end.
Song: We Found Love, Rihanna (ft. Calvin Harris)
March 25, 2013
4 days to go...
Today I finally felt decent on my normal runs. That was nice, except my stomach was a little upset, which was to be expected due to my spaghetti binge last night. The birthday celebrations have continued with Vern's cinnamon rolls for dinner tonight. I am glad I did both my runs today, that way I don't feel so bad about eating all the non-paleo food. But how many time does one turn 24 I ask you? This whole week is going to be full of birthday celebrations! I got really excited about the race again on my afternoon run. I also got a little nervous, so I think I will read through my negative/positive thoughts documents again. What got me excited was the thought that finally I am going to lower my PR and have to opportunity to redeem myself on the track. This race has been a long time coming in that sense. And FINALLY the time has come! I left college with unsettled business on the track, thinking I would never race there again. But ever since my coach recommended I get back out there, I have been looking forward to this race. Well, part of me dreading it, the other part of me anticipating it. The dread only comes from previous track experiences which I have already decided to put behind me. This is a new era of my running, and my track performances will fall into the new standard. Plus there is no pressure on me to do anything really, so I should really take advantage of the situation!
Song: I Can Walk On Water, Basshunter
"I will never be afraid again, I will keep on fighting till the end. I can walk on water, I can fly. I will keep on fighting till I die."
March 26, 2013 (Birthday Eve)
3 days to go...
Hit the track bright and early this morning. Had to get my workout in before my hair salon appointment at 9:00. I know, I'm such a girl. Let me tell you this, I spent three times as long at the salon as I did running. Lol! But anyways, I did a light track workout (8x200 with 100 float recovery), and it was not the empowering, confidence boosting workout I had last Friday. In fact, to put it quite frankly, it stunk. I don't understand why I can run as fast as I do with such little effort when I am in Boulder, and then when I am here I suck ass. I was pressing comfortably (so fast but not straining) and I was hitting freaking 40's. Are you kidding me? I just ran 40's for 7.5 laps on Friday, plus faster 400's afterwards. And I can't pull it together for 8 measly 200's. I don't get it. Actually, I do get some of it, but I really don't like it and it isn't what I need a few days before a big race. Here is what I think the deal is. #1: I am working out alone and it was/is/will always be hard for me to push myself alone on the track. Off the track, no problem. Something about that damn red oval just gets to me. #2: It was cold. I know this is going to excuse-esque, but I really think my legs have a hard time warming up and especially when it is cold. This morning they never felt really loose and fluid, just tight-tight-tight. #3: Attitude is everything. As you can see from reasons #1 and #2, I probably didn't have a great attitude going into the workout. Also, it is known in the running world that you should NEVER underestimate a workout. "Easy" workouts become monsters when you think, "eh, this workout is a piece of cake." Just like hard workouts can be manageable when approached with the right mindset. I would rather overestimate the difficulty of a workout than underestimate it.
Regardless, I am not going to let my little workout incident stand in my way. Whatever... right? I certainly didn't loose any fitness between today and Friday. Even if I didn't feel great, today's workout still got the blood pumping a bit and gave my legs a little shake out. I think it is very important for runner's to not get too hung up in every single day of running. There will be good days, there will be bad days. But everyday you run you are getting stronger and just because you have an off day doesn't mean you are out of shape or that the rest of your season is doomed. Maybe other people aren't as dramatic as I am. I don't know.
On another note, I went and got my hair colored and cut. I am now rather blonde, but not unrecognizable, as my stylist kindly informed me. There are some things in life you shouldn't skimp on: running shoes, food, and hair service. I believe it is worth paying an arm and a leg for someone else to manage the coloring of my hair. Sure a box of DIY color is a cheaper, but I don't want to end up looking like I'm wearing a traffic cone on my head, or that I colored my hair with sharpie. This was another part of my week long birthday celebration! Last night Jake and I had giant cinnamon rolls for dinner. YES!!! And tonight we are having shrimp with cocktail sauce. And tomorrow (my actual birthday) I am going to The Rio with Nicole. YES!!! What a wonderful birthday week I am having.
Song: My Songs Know What You Did in the Dark (Light em Up), Fall Out Boy
"So light em up, up, up, up. I'm on fire."
March 27, 2013 (My 24th Birthday!)
2 days to go...
Tomorrow we leave for California! Wow, it is almost here. For now, I suppose I will enjoy my birthday. I did a little run this morning with Nia and then have been at work for a few hours now. I am planning on picking up a few Buttercream Cupcakes for Jake and I tonight. Yum! I have been feeling more nervous about the race. I am constantly telling myself to not stress about it. I am fit. I will do great. I can. I can. I can. Heat sheets are supposed to come out today. I assume they will be put up at about 9pm tonight. There are going to be two heats of the 10k. I would guess I am going to be in the slower of the two heats, which is fine with me. Really, either heat would be fine with me. I'm just glad I have a place on the starting line. Phew! The schedule was posted though. It looks like the 10k's are the last event of the day on Friday. That is where they always are, so no surprise. I won't know exactly what time I am racing until the heat sheets come out, obviously.
I have still been working on running with less twist. I think I am getting better, but really I need someone else to tell me how I look. I know it will be a lot harder to do when I am tired, but at least getting used to it in normal runs will help. I am also getting more used to the new color of my hair. I like it! And I just like the change.
Song: Survival, Muse
"Yes, I am prepared to stay alive. I won't give in, vengeance is mine. And I won't give in, because I choose to thrive."
"You won't pull ahead, cause I'll keep up the pace. And I'll reveal my strength, to the whole human race."
March 28, 2013
1 day to go...
We traveled to California today. Left Denver at about 9am, so we had about half a day left by the time we got to San Jose. Going to the track was exciting. I remember a lot more about being here than I expected. And Stanford has a beautiful campus. Laura, Allie, and I did a little shake out run and then a few strides on the track. One thing we all noticed was the atmoshpere around these big track meets. It is so intense, people staring eachother down, sizing eachother up. I should say it is probably the same way in cross country, maybe at any race. Regardless, we laughed about it. The sun was shining and it was HOT! Woohoo! A little preview of summer in Colorado. We went to dinner at an Italian restaruant and then to Cold Stone for some ice cream. Oh, I also found out I am in the fast heat of the 10k. I am taking that as a very good sign about my race.
Song: Fly, Nicki Minaj & Rihanna
"I came to win, to fight, to conquer, to thrive. I came to win, to survive, to prosper, to rise. To fly, to fly."
March 29, 2013
0 days to go... aka RACE DAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
It is finally here! I didn't sleep super well last night, but I woke up this morning and couldn't help but start to think about the race. I got pretty nervous and anxious. But I have all day (and literally part of the night) before I actually compete. Today we are going to go watch Allie run her 5k at 11:18. Then we will just be chilling until about 7pm, when we will all go back to the track for our races. I spoke with Lee on the phone last night and he told me what he wants me to do in terms of a race plan. It sounded pretty good to me! Anyways, I am not going to say too much here because I am planning a recap post in which I will hash out all the specifics. I am going to try to really focus, stay positive, keep my arms from twisting, and compete. It is going to be a good one! Wish me luck!
Song: Radioactive, Imagine Dragons
"I'm waking up, I feel it in my bones. Enough to make my system blow. Welcome to the new age, to the new age. Welcome to the new age, to the new age. I'm radioactive, radioactive. I'm radioactive, radioactive."
"All systems go, the sun hasn't died. Deep in my bones, straight from inside."
e.
I like this. The list of doubts and reasons why not to doubt is stellar!
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